So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
