I didn't shave. On purpose
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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