i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
