Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
