So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
