How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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