I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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