Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
how drunk are you?
Several
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize