yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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