why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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