my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
