my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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