Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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