Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song

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(951): View more from California

she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"

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(440): View more from Ohio

Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.

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(301): View more from Maryland

so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards

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(843): View more from South Carolina

My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.

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(214): View more from Texas

Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?

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(812): View more from Indiana

Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet

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