she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
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