so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
