I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
