Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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