Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
