why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
