don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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