Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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