Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
