there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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