Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
