Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
