And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
