he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
This couple is walking their pig around campus
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
