Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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