You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize