Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize