So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
