Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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