I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
