Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You're like the curious george of whores
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Randomize
