try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
