is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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