The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
