Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
