Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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