We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I could have mohawked her pubes.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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