I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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