i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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