I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Randomize
