P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
