He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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