I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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