..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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