All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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