I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
