The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
