you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
