I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
