Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
