I'm so fucking centered right now
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
