I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Is it penis luge time yet?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
