And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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