Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
