She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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