It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
