my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize