I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
