Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize