Cold hands, warm shart.
Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
