So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
