I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize