I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
