so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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