I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
